Vacationing to the Bermuda Triangle

Let's face it, there are people, places and things in life that we avoid on a regular basis. And, usually, we do so for very good reasons. (Primarily because murder is illegal and jail isn't fun, right?) We do so because we need to prevent ourselves from encountering the extra and unneeded stress.

Today I was sitting in my ungodly boring science class and found myself contemplating how sweet life would be if I could just pack up all of these annoying things onto a plane and send them on vacation to the Bermuda Triangle. The Bermuda triangle has been held responsible for the disappearance of ships and planes since 1750, what's a few more? We just send them on their way and POOF! Problem solved!! Right? RIGHT!  Well, then I started considering all of the things I would send away and started seconding guessing (don't you hate that?) the things that I might, maybe, sorta of (in a not really kind of way) miss. But here is just a taste of what would be on my plane:

1. My ex boyfriend who thinks he just knows it all and that he is God's gift to the Earth. (At first I thought I might miss him and then I decided he would be much better off in the Bermuda Triangle where no one would have to listen to him anymore.)

2. People who talk really, really obnoxiously loud on their cell phones in public places. Dudeeee, we do not need to hear your conversation. We don't care. (This goes for people who insist having their phone calls in public while set on speaker. omg)

3. The Salvation Army people who ring the bells. Yeah, you are doing a great job collecting money for charity but unfortunately you have one of the most annoying jobs in the world... and you drive me nuts, sorry. 

4. Valley girls that use the word 'like' more than I blink. Like, shit, we're like, going to like, go like, to the Bermuda Triangle, like, yeah!

5. Neighbors that make excessive amounts of noise at odd and inconvenient hours. 

6. Fleas, mosquitoes, spiders and snakes.  (Yes, I'm aware that they some how keep something in the ecosystem balanced.. don't care. POOF.)

7. My parents' voice boxes. 

8. Homework assignments and discussion boards that the teacher assigns but never really looks at. 

9. High waisted pants and shorts. (Unless you're a mom or old lady.)

10. Those bear claw shoes. 

11. Christmas music in November.

12. Starbucks traffic in the morning when you're just trying to get coffee to make your brain work and everyone is in the way. WHYYYYYYYYYY?

13. TRAFFIC. 

14. Boys that cannot take a hint.

15. Girls that never stop talking about how great their boyfriend is, when the rest of us know he's a sleezebag.

16. The lady who cut my hair too short when I specifically told her not to do that. 

17. The ladies who do my toes and make me bleed while talking about me in another language.

18. Twlight, the Beebs and girls that think being super slutty is cool.

19. Commercials that make me hungry when I'm too lazy to drive.

20. I can't remember the last one, but I bet it was annoying.

As you can see, there is a good possibility that I will need more than one plane. In fact, if I was truly allowed to fill planes... well, I'm sure you can figure it out. What kinds of things would you put on a plane and send to the Bermuda Triangle? The options are endless. (But all annoying..)